Unbroken beauty

Truth set free This is my story

Into the night

I wouldn’t mind going gently into the night. I wouldn’t mind going beyond the time. I won’t put up a fight. Your that someone who will be there when Im riding through the dark. So take me to a world so over grown moving so fast we should slow down.  So go gently into the night and here the sweet sounds of the breath meeting the air. I wouldn’t care if I vanished into thin air. To live on the side of a light where searching for. Looking for a cure to this disease . Moving to fast as the shadows are dancing here I lie alone. Find me in this dream but that never come out hearts beating as one. I wouldn’t mind . I can see it with my own two eyes. So take me into the gently night. Just another loan some journey. So take me back through time. It seems the dying are the only ones that really know how to live. I wouldn’t mind. 

Always be strong never let another persons words hurt you. Remember that its the inner strength that gets us through more then we can imagine. A friend once said to me the scariest things in life is when your lost and your finally found whether in someone else or in yourself. We never know how strong we are until were given things we never though possible

“We are not meant to be perfect we are meant to be whole- Jane Fonda”

Come pick me up from the night. Blind and shattered from the glass. Held it up to myself till I couldn’t stand . SO don’t ask me what i’ve seen. Don’t come around when I’v hit rock bottom or come carrying your crosses. So just leave the room for the holy ghost . Set yourself free. Get on your horse and run wild an free. Go and find a lover who will treat you better than me. So have mercy on me. And tell me what would you say to me if I laid down in the ground. Would you lay down next to me or curse me out  and spit on my grave. If you could see through my soul what would you say, Would you cry,scream , yell? Have mercy in me and leave  room for the holy ghost. So don’t come around when I’m gone  Don’t come carrying a cross. Come pick me up in the night from this lingering darkness. Set yourself free from my hold. So that’s enough. We did the best we could. So I just want to hear what you’d tell me if i was bullet proof. Don’t ask questions . just come get me from the things I don’t know. They would simply break your heart. Take me out of the dark  and into the light . The things in my soul were my comfort and friends. So take me out of the dark and into the light. I did the best I could. Someday when Im older I’ll watch out for the walls an talk about   the love I shared with you. Here and now you stand tall with me . An watch me bleed underneath the ground. 

SO if…

If I told you my story would you run? or would you stop and listen? There are things I’ve seen that I will never tell him, things that drove me  out of my mind and out of myself. If  I showed you my scares, If I played you my favorite song here in the dark would you fall to tears or would you trust  me to love you like fire. Would it break your heart if I showed you who I am, If you knew me well inside myself.  That I’ve run so far Iv lost myself. I spent all my money on a second hand love and I loved him with fearlessness that it would drive anyone mad.If I showed you my scares if I showed my soul If I played you my favorite song. So I ask you now if I showed you my scared would it break your heart?? Would you fall to tears or would stand strong with here in yours. If you knew how I loved you here in the dark. If I laid down here besides you. Could I lean on you till my heart stopped beating. If I barred my sense of god would you curse me out and spit my name or would lay down next to me. If I played you my favorite song. If I told you my story ?? Would you pick me up from the night from the hands of the dark. From the things you didn’t’ know. Would they break your  heart? There are years blinded and shattered in glass. So don’t ask me where I’v been . Just leave it alone and leave a little room for the holy ghost . I came to my reasons. Don’t ask i’v been it’ll break your heart. Just leave a little room . If I told my story.. 

Have you

Have you ever just wanted to scream? Because no one is listening to you. Have you ever just wanted to run away? Because no one understands. Have you ever wanted to hurt yourself? Because no one cares. Have you ever wished something bad would happen to you? Because you want sympathy. Have you ever wished someone would ask you ‘what’s wrong’? Because you need to vent. Have you ever just wanted to lock yourself in your room? Because you need to get away from life. Have you ever just wanted to text that boy that broke your heart? Because you know the old him could make you smile in a heart beat just by replying to your text. Have you ever cried and ran to the mirror to make sure it looked like you didn’t? Because your family just wouldn’t understand. It’s okay. Me too

I woke up in tears this morning thinking to myself how did i survive this pain . This constant fear of the things that might or might not happen. Life has taken so much for me. While it has given me so much. It’s scared me for so many years. Its taken me 11 years to get to the point where your words don’t hurt me anymore. Where I can stand tall and not allow  it to ruin my whole day. Though in some ways yes it still stings. But I know that I’ve come to a point where I can’t allow you this much control over my life. I have to remember that love isn’t supposed to hurt . Its not supposed to feel like someone is always betraying you that you don’t trust them that your always the one at fault that your wrong all the time. An then turn around and try to be the victim and tell you that your the one who’s caused all the pain in the world to ruin his life. But thats not true. its time to not be afraid 

We can’t live in fear of everything. We can’t always feel guilty for the things we didn’t do or have no control over. We can’t prove to a person we love them by giving and giving an all they do  is take. A person who loves you doesn’t want you to prove it by how much money you give them or how many times you show up. Or turn around and tell you that you’ve abused them all these years. We can’t keep trying to convince ourselves that we’ve done something wrong. That we’ve done something horrible. That for some reason you’r this evil person. Because the truth is that we’ve all made mistakes yes just because someone tells you that your the evil one that you’ve changed that your the one who’s caused so much pain . That your the one who’s brainwashed him/her. When the truth is that you’ve not brainwashed anyone that you didn’t hurt anyone by wanting more by wanting a life out side of that abuse. The truth is that you have a god given right to want too be happy . An every once in a while be selfish. Find the peace within. 

“Trust the voice within”